The Never-ending Lesson

We all embrace life from our own perspective.
— K. Grahm, March 9, 2010

I was reading through my journal in an attempt to find answers to how I could have been so wrong about something when I came across this bit of wisdom from a phone conversation with a friend of mine. The topic of perspective came up earlier today as well, so I was inspired to make this post. More journaling wasn't enough.

A journal is good for keeping track of how we embrace — or reject life's challenges. I'm always amazed by the great insight and advice I have for myself, yet fail to listen to. Seven months ago I was excited by the incomprehensible vastness of the universe and all the possibilities that perspective held. I was letting go, and welcoming all things new. Today, I feel like I've been sucked into a black hole and can't see past the horror enough to escape the downward spiral. But, I know this too shall pass. Sometimes you have to be beaten against the rocks before you learn to go with the flow of the river.

Perspective indeed.

Sometimes I Miss The Gazette

I dropped my home delivery of the Kalamazoo Gazette a couple of months ago. Mostly because my employer cut my hours and I needed to make some budgetary choices. Fortunately, when I need a "fix" of local news, I can read it online.

This story caught my eye. Funny what small towns consider "news." Though this was in the "food" section it still struck me as funny. A story about a giant cake!

Worthless Democrats

November 4, 2008 was a huge relief. January 20, 2009 was a great celebration of that relief. I thought I could relax a little around politics. Not so. And, I'm so sick of it! Here's my latest (I write them all the time) letter:

Dear President Obama:

I understand that the job of governing the country is very different from running for the office. I’m sure it’s had surprises even for you. While I really appreciate you finally coming out strong on health care, we all elected you to be equally as strong on other issues — and in your decision-making. We put our trust — and hope — in you. I feel let down by you, and all those Democrats that rode your coattails into office, every single day! I am so sick of the pandering. Why? We voted for YOU! What do you hope to gain from that? It makes you look ALLl look so weak and indecisive.

With all do respect sir — please — stand up against these obstructionist Republican’s every chance you get! Moving the trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to military courts is one HUGE example. I even read a headline today that said it was “flip-flopping,” and, I have to agree. Stand your ground Mr. President, and command those other Democrats to do the same. It’s what we elected you for.

How is this Possible?

I still cannot grasp it, but it's true. It's March 2, 2010. That means I've walked the Earth for 50 years.

While making a journal entry this morning, I was struck by the idea of making a list of 50 things to do when I'm 50. Chances are I will revise it throughout the year. It's really not all that interesting, and somethings are kind of far-fetched, but this is what I came up with on the spur of the moment. I just wrote them down in the order they came to mind.

50 Things I’d Like to do in My 50th Year

I've removed the list to post and update on my refrigerator. This was prompted by the fact that #1 is NEVER going to happen. I will move on, but I will never "get over Bacon Man." And, I need to replace "clean out the basement" with "see Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me" and find a good replacement for some of the other mundane stuff.

As Hilarywho said, if I do half of it, it will be an accomplishment. And I think Canada is a good place to start!

Kickin’ Some Republican Ass!

These idiot Republican’s had the audacity to stand up in front of God and everyone to blame the ONE year of the Obama administration for the past TEN YEARS+ of greedy REBUBLICAN policy for the mess our country is in. What a bunch of delusional people!

But, Obama (still) rocks! He is very impressive — and he set them straight. It’s very hard to listen to their “questions” (I admit, I muted them a few times). But, this is worth the hour of your time to listen to. He’s asking them to step-up and lead — something they STILL don’t get!

Watch it here.

This is the guy we voted for. I hope to see more of him in the future.

A Pebble Cast

Today I threw a pebble into my community pond. I treasured watching every ripple it created and was amazed at the instantaneousness of it all.

I planned a meeting a couple of weeks ago with two of the organizers from ERACCE. We got together over coffee to talk about what I might know about anti-racism work in Battle Creek.

At one point in the conversation I mentioned I was looking for volunteer opportunities. Almost as soon as I said it, a woman one of my associates knew walked in. I was introduced to “Denise from Fire.” As I was introduced, she was told I was looking to volunteer. Seems all I had to do was throw that first pebble.

And so, I’m off to expand my view of Kalamazoo!

Limbo Again?

I’m still hopeful in a big-picture way. But feeling very constricted on a micro level today.

My frustration with politics in this country is hugely amplified by the absence of my amazing, adventurous friend. This in turn has sent me inward to a very uncomfortable place. The place that feels lonely and hopeless. It paralyzes me.

I want to talk about how wrong it all is, what we can do to fix it, then dance and sing and end the evening with outstanding sex. Not having that outlet, and the thought that this once-in-a-lifetime connection is gone forever, is making it very hard to move forward today.

So, this is a thanks to the Suburban Farmer for the reminder that this too shall pass.

Open Again, and Ready for Twenty-Ten

I learned last week that my work hours are being cut. Initially I was filled with anxiety and panic. My mind went to thoughts like “How am I going to make it on so much less?” “What if something happens to my car/house/cat, etc?”

It was disturbing because I had really embraced the “idea” of 2010 and all it’s possibilities. Nothing negative was getting in the way. Over the last five months of 2009, I had begun to open up after making an incredible new friend. He made me realize a lot of things about myself — and, our "relationship" was pure fun! I am so grateful for that experience.

But, he’s moved on to a new and really exciting chapter in his life — along with many other people close to me. I am very happy for all of them. Thinking of them seemed to keep me “open” to new possibilities in my own life.

So I got quiet and stopped the panic. Instead, I reflected deeply on the abundance I DO have, and began to think about “what’s next” for me (there’s that question again!). And, in doing so, I realize that I have been given a gift. Less money will definitely challenge me to do things differently, and that’s a good thing. Plus, having more time will allow me to focus on my community — something I’ve thought a lot about, but have taken very little action on.

I am a very lucky person indeed. I still have a job, a place to live, food to eat, a healthy body and people who love me. I am open and ready — for whatever 2010 brings my way! I may even post more meaningful entries — or at least more interesting! (I just hope one of the first "challenges" of the year is not Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat going to a Republican!)