1953 CHEVROLET $50

One of the best stories about life is in Richard Brautigan’s The Tokyo-Montana Express. “1953 Chevrolet” tells the story of his friend’s dream of buying an old car to drive from Montana to California. He sees an ad “1953 Chevrolet $50” and his mind begins to build this great fantasy about it. He’s very excited — has taken the entire trip in his head with great detail by the time he goes to look at the Chevrolet. The old woman who owns it greets him at the door and they being the walk to the garage.

He asks “How are the tires?” and she replies, “Tires? There are no tires.” Hmmm. No tires, but he thinks that’s a pretty minor thing. He can buy tires for it. They continue down the path to the garage. “How are the breaks?” “Breaks? There are no breaks.” Again, a set-back but something fixable. It continues this way with the car slowing falling apart in his head until they get to the garage and the woman opens the door. And there sits a 1953 Chevy engine.

I LOVE that story and think of it every time I get too excited about something. It’s a great reminder of how you can’t have any expectations about anything (or anyone) in life. It NEVER turns out the way you imagined it would — so I just don’t let myself do that. It has saved me a lot of grief. It’s a rule I live by. No ’53 Chevrolets! Of course this story was reinforced for me right after I read it about 15 plus years ago when a friend invited me to go up to Alberta with her and watch her husband hang-glide off the cliffs up there. She told me there was “an old school house” in town where I could rent a room. I absolutely love that part of Michigan, and spun this great image in my head about staying in “an old school house” — on the Lake! Wow! It was going to be so cool! Well, the “old school house” was not the grand wooden structure I was expecting — and it was not on the Lake. It was an old SCHOOL — a cinderblock elementary school! The rooms were cold and void of any character. That was a great lesson — one that has stuck with me since.

This is true with people too. I recently started dating again. Something I went into reluctantly for sure, but I didn’t want to spend another summer doing “stuff” alone. I had no expectations about meeting my “soul mate” or any of that romantic crap. I had true love once, and I gave that up in search of passion — and I found it. That wasn’t enough either. But, I got to experience both things and I figure I’ve been pretty lucky. Many people never have either. I think it’s pretty likely that I will spend the rest of my life alone — and that’s okay.

Now, I don’t usually write personal stuff on here — that’s what my journal is for. But, I did end up meeting someone I really liked. I stuck with my ’53 Chevy rule. No big fantasies or expectations. I just really enjoyed his company. But, I made the mistake of sharing my feelings about how much I liked him way too soon — and he thought I was building that car in my head. So, guess I’ll be going to the Lake alone again this summer — in my 1996 Olds and the only expectation I’ll have is to enjoy myself.