A Pebble Cast

Today I threw a pebble into my community pond. I treasured watching every ripple it created and was amazed at the instantaneousness of it all.

I planned a meeting a couple of weeks ago with two of the organizers from ERACCE. We got together over coffee to talk about what I might know about anti-racism work in Battle Creek.

At one point in the conversation I mentioned I was looking for volunteer opportunities. Almost as soon as I said it, a woman one of my associates knew walked in. I was introduced to “Denise from Fire.” As I was introduced, she was told I was looking to volunteer. Seems all I had to do was throw that first pebble.

And so, I’m off to expand my view of Kalamazoo!

Limbo Again?

I’m still hopeful in a big-picture way. But feeling very constricted on a micro level today.

My frustration with politics in this country is hugely amplified by the absence of my amazing, adventurous friend. This in turn has sent me inward to a very uncomfortable place. The place that feels lonely and hopeless. It paralyzes me.

I want to talk about how wrong it all is, what we can do to fix it, then dance and sing and end the evening with outstanding sex. Not having that outlet, and the thought that this once-in-a-lifetime connection is gone forever, is making it very hard to move forward today.

So, this is a thanks to the Suburban Farmer for the reminder that this too shall pass.

Open Again, and Ready for Twenty-Ten

I learned last week that my work hours are being cut. Initially I was filled with anxiety and panic. My mind went to thoughts like “How am I going to make it on so much less?” “What if something happens to my car/house/cat, etc?”

It was disturbing because I had really embraced the “idea” of 2010 and all it’s possibilities. Nothing negative was getting in the way. Over the last five months of 2009, I had begun to open up after making an incredible new friend. He made me realize a lot of things about myself — and, our "relationship" was pure fun! I am so grateful for that experience.

But, he’s moved on to a new and really exciting chapter in his life — along with many other people close to me. I am very happy for all of them. Thinking of them seemed to keep me “open” to new possibilities in my own life.

So I got quiet and stopped the panic. Instead, I reflected deeply on the abundance I DO have, and began to think about “what’s next” for me (there’s that question again!). And, in doing so, I realize that I have been given a gift. Less money will definitely challenge me to do things differently, and that’s a good thing. Plus, having more time will allow me to focus on my community — something I’ve thought a lot about, but have taken very little action on.

I am a very lucky person indeed. I still have a job, a place to live, food to eat, a healthy body and people who love me. I am open and ready — for whatever 2010 brings my way! I may even post more meaningful entries — or at least more interesting! (I just hope one of the first "challenges" of the year is not Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat going to a Republican!)